A few sips of water, a few drops of Iris Ganache…

photoAfter a few days cavorting with Chanel (no.22) I felt the call of Guerlain. Pictured here are my 3 remaining mls. from my 5 ml decant of Guerlain’s discontinued Iris Ganache, a soft, suede like composition of iris root and white chocolate. Wearing it never fails to uplift me and soothe my spirits. These are my last few drops, and thankfully Iris Ganache has superb longevity on my skin, this morning’s modest application is still going strong at intimate range a full nine hours later.

Savoring its last few drops today reminds me of one dawn this past summer, about a week before dad died. There was a huge thunder and lightning storm that woke me at about 5 o’clock and I went downstairs to check on him. My husband was asleep on a mattress we had placed at the foot of dad’s bed in order to assist him during the night with toileting and breathing treatments. Dad was restless, his O2 off his face and he had kicked his covers off. I went to him and covered him, kissed him. Poured some cold water and offered him a few sips.

Good, he said. Good night, sleep tight.

I laid down next to Tim.

Are the kids here? 

I went to him and stroked his head, kissed him again and gave him more sips of the cool water. His face looked blissful.

Thank you. Thank you, world. 

What, Daddy? 

I’m thanking the world. 

His face was so peaceful, so quiet, so beautiful. I held his hand and could feel his heart beating softly, tenderly in the wet twilight.

His death process was giving me an amazing gift. That he could be so present and engaged, with his body so weak and frail. It was like watching a melting snowflake with its crystalline infrastructure softly disappearing. He was showing me how to savor the last remaining drops.

 

Image: background of photo is my Jungian archetype mask, mixed media

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About reneetamara

Writing about death, mental illness, spirituality, art and perfume. Because beauty feeds the soul, and love is beyond what we think.

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