My Excellent Mommy



I’ve been going through mom’s things slowly, slowly, pacing myself with the weight of the emotion, the waves that hit unexpectedly. This is an experience all of mankind goes through, but I never knew until now, I never knew what it felt like. 

I found a few things this weekend, Mom’s eighth grade photo and graduation certificate, carefully folded underneath the drawer paper in her bureau. It looks like she was an excellent student, receiving straight A’s in most subjects and winning an entire year’s tuition through a competitive exam. I also found an unexpected book, Greek Made Easy by George C. Divry, second edition, dated 1946 and carefully signed with mom’s maiden name. Greek, Mommy? Really? 



These discoveries are bittersweet. I knew mommy was extremely well read, intelligent, interested in art, culture, history and people, but learning of her scholarship made me picture her as the hardworking earnest student with her life ahead of her, who never went to college, worked as a filing clerk and married, her brilliant intelligence shining through in family life during her periods of wellness, and overshadowed in dark moments when she couldn’t help but succumb to her illness. 



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About reneetamara

Writing about death, mental illness, spirituality, art and perfume. Because beauty feeds the soul, and love is beyond what we think.

2 responses to “My Excellent Mommy”

  1. Garce says :

    Like Ophelia says “We know what we are but not what we may be.” We come into this world with such potential and pass through our youth with all the future a mystery and then things we can’t anitcipate, mental illness, messiahs, knock us off the rails. I think of my mother this way too. She came into the world with beauty and potential, but then so many things knocked her off the rails. It makes me wonder how I’ve gotten this far and what is waiting down the road for all of us.


    • reneetamara says :

      Tim is a believer in destiny, which I have at times pooh poohed, because I like to believe we all have choices, freedom and responsibility…but when I truly reflect upon happenings, events, paths and people in my life, there is a certain aura of destiny afoot. Do you feel the same?


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