moving in motionless intensity



6/11/2012. After reading the “Elegance of the Hedgehog,” I am pondering the notion of moving in motionless intensity – not towards something but within oneself in a centered, grounded manner, much like dad, as he lay dying. I saw Daddy, with his gaunt face, open mouth and eyes closed, yet facing upwards and envisioned strong deeps roots from beneath him, sinking into the center of the earth. Holding him secure. At the same time I imaged streams of illumination flowing from the top of his head, brilliantly connecting him to the sun and other stars. He, strung like a brilliant bead, a gem, on a silken strand of something precious, secure, held fast, in place. Not drifting, but steadfast. The source and the destination are one and the same. 

The newborn and the dying

one sucking on milk, the other sucking on air

the one is coming the other going

it’s the same

it’s the same

it’s the same. 

About reneetamara

Writing about death, mental illness, spirituality, art and perfume. Because beauty feeds the soul, and love is beyond what we think.

2 responses to “moving in motionless intensity”

  1. Garce says :

    I’m thinking a lot about death these days, not in a morbid way but as my own mortality gains reality as the years run out and people I knew drop away. The world as we know it is created for us within a meat brain, informed by meat senses that were evolved for survival, not spirituality. We are limited by what we can perceive. When our meat brain begins to power down I wonder what is revealed? Does the world become smaller or bigger? Darker or brighter? When I think of death this way and what your father’s interior world may have been i feel an immense curiosity.


    • reneetamara says :

      well, yes, exactly. My daddy the atheist, ethical agnostic, had drug free visions of staircases, gardens, banquets and times square during the weeks before he quietly died. He was lucid literally hours before his heart stopped beating. It was like he had one foot in and one foot out on any given day, between the physical and the spiritual. It leaves me in wonder. That is why I am writing this blog. Seeking understanding.

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